General Conference

Twice a year--the first weekend of October and April--LDS church members around the world sit in their homes and/or church buildings and soak in the words of church leaders spoken at General Conference in Salt Lake City, UT. It's been interesting to me, as someone who did not grow up in the church, to observe the eagerness with which people await conference. It feels almost like a holiday.  Some people have grown up with various traditions surrounding conference that they continue to observe, such as celebrating Sunday morning with cinnamon rolls or dressing up in a suit and tie even while watching the broadcast from the comfort of their living rooms. (For the record, I opted for yoga pants. Church in pajamas? Yes, please!) 

One of the most important doctrines of the LDS church is the idea of continuing revelation. As prophets and apostles lived and taught in Christ's day, so too do we have the privilege of listening to men called by God to teach his people and to guide his church on the earth today. At first, the idea of having "prophets" in the church made me a bit uncomfortable. I thought, "Sure, they call themselves prophets so that people have to do whatever they say." This apprehension quickly dissolved when I actually listened to and read church talks. The core teachings in almost every talk are the atonement of Jesus Christ and following the commandments.  "Atonement" is a term that Mormons throw around quite a bit, and a concept that we spend our whole lives studying.  In just a few words, atonement is the act of Christ taking upon himself all the sins of the world so that through repentance we can return to live with our Father in heaven again.  Is this concept new? No. Of course not. It's been taught now for millennia. But, the challenges we face today are much different than the challenges that faced Christians 2,000, 200, or even 20 years ago. Continuing revelation helps to keep God's people on the straight and narrow path in an age when the path keeps being obscured and shifted by increasing moral relativism. We are not asked to follow the prophets' counsel blindly. We receive the counsel and are asked to pray about it to come to know for ourselves that it is true. While some teachings are easy to accept, others take more time. What I like most about General Conference is that church leaders  teach and preach on relevant topics that make me reflect on how I am living my life and what changes I need to make in order to align my life more closely with Christ's perfect example. I already have a list of goals for the next six months, including reflecting more in this space. We'll see how well I do. Luckily, the atonement is real, and God is merciful! 

Christian Community

I visited my family in northern Maryland this weekend. After living almost a decade out of the area, I try to get home as often as I can and try to take advantage of living relatively close. When I visit, I typically return home on Saturday night so I can be ready for 8 a.m. church. Because of the extra day this weekend, I decided to stay with my parents on Saturday night and go to the LDS chapel by their house on Sunday.

Something great about LDS congregations (wards) is that because they are so small, most people can instantly pick out visitors. After sacrament meeting (the main church service), during Sunday school, and in Relief Society (the women's meeting), people welcomed me and chatted with me.

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Wards are organized geographically. Each household is assigned a church building and meeting time based on where they live. Depending on the density of the LDS population, a wards can consist of members from multiple counties down to a single apartment building. The wards can be up to 300 or 400 people. Once a ward grows to what church leaders think is too large, it is divided and two new congregations are formed. In areas where the LDS church is less established, the smaller congregations are called branches. 

I love my ward. Being in my 20s and single, I choose to attend a Young Single Adult (YSA) ward. Everyone in my congregation is between the ages of 18-30, though most fall into the 25-30 range. Northern Virginia has become sort of a gathering place of young, LDS singles working in Washington, D.C. Everyone in my ward lives within a mile of my apartment. That's 350 Mormon singles in one neighborhood. On Sunday morning you can see the mass exodus of men in suits and women in skirts and heels scurrying down the sidewalks with their scriptures in hand. 

The way the LDS church is organized lends itself to building community. Because you assigned to a congregation, and the congregations are kept fairly small, you are able to get to know most people in your ward even in a place as transient as D.C. When you move in, you are assigned two home teachers. These men come to your home each month to share a message from the church leadership, pray with you, and offer you service. In a singles' ward, home teachers often are those you ask for rides to the airport or to help you move a new dresser into your apartment. They also are there to provide you priesthood blessings, when you are in need of comfort or healing. Women are also assigned two women to "visit teach." Similarly, women visit the homes of these women each month, share a message, and offer service. As a woman, I have four people who I know I can turn to and who I know are specifically concerned for my well being. 

In addition to home and visiting teaching, a variety of activities in the church help to build community.  Monday night is set aside for Family Home Evening (FHE). While traditionally, as the name suggests, you would spend this night at home with your family, because we don't yet have families, we are organized into six ward families. Two members of the ward are assigned to be FHE "Mom and Dad" and plan activities for each group. Tuesday night is for Institute-- classroom-style scripture study. Each week, around 400 YSAs from two wards attend three or four courses that are offered. Typically, there is a "munch-and-mingle" afterwards where people can visit and get to know each other a little better.  Nearly every month there is a ward temple trip, where everyone travels to the temple to worship in the house of the Lord together. These are only the church-sponsored programs in addition to the three hours we spend together every Sunday. Throughout the week and weekend there are any number of open-invitation parties, cookouts, dinner clubs, sports clubs, and outings. 

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So when my mother asked me how church was when I returned home yesterday, I told her it was great and that the people were warm and friendly, but I couldn't help but feel like I was celebrating a holiday with someone else's family. The ward I visited was a great ward-- but it wasn't my ward. 

I then proceeded to help her on a reflection paper she was working on for religion class she was required to take as a Catholic school teacher. She was assigned to read the book Models of Church by Avery Dulles, S.J. Basically, she was supposed to reflect on the models he presented and discuss which one most appeals to her. While there is A LOT I could say about the exercise, I'll leave you with one quotation from the book. 

"Some people… are eagerly looking for the perfect human community. They long for a community which fulfills all their needs and in terms of which they are able to define themselves. This search is illusory, especially in our own day when to be human means to participate in several communities and to remain critical in regard to all of them. The longing desire for the warm and understanding total community... is bound to end in disappointment and heartbreak." 

I respectfully disagree, Fr. Dulles. 

While the LDS church is made up of people who are as imperfect as in any other church, and who-- as individuals-- might disappoint, the divinely-inspired organization of the church makes this type of community possible and, in moments when church members are fulfilling their responsibilities, a reality. Disappointment and heartbreak are not inevitable. Just as we don't choose the families we are born into, in the LDS church, we don't choose our congregations or those we visit or home teach or those with whom with serve in our callings. Perfect community is meeting people where they are and loving them for who they are, as well as allowing others to love and serve us. 

Prayer and the Book of Mormon

Prayer has always been important to me. Sure, there have been ebbs and flows throughout my life, but generally, I felt-- long before I joined the LDS church-- that God heard my prayers. The way I pray, of course, has changed. I remember as a kid praying a decade of the rosary every night before going to bed (mostly to help be not be afraid of whatever creature could be hiding in the dark) and during the Angelus bell at recess (the staple of any Catholic school experience). I prayed for help before tests and offered various supplications about catching the attention of my latest crush. Later on, as I became exposed to the Jesuits and Ignatian Spirituality, I learned how to pray and listen to help me better make life decisions guided by the Spirit.

Something I had never prayed for was truth. When I first learned about the concept of praying to know the Book of Mormon is "true," I found it difficult to understand how praying about a book could lead anyone to join the LDS church. I felt like I knew everything I needed to know about the church from all the websites I had visited and the pile of books I had read. (Full disclosure: I was dating an LDS guy at the time-- so I had an incentive to learn more about the LDS Church so I could have friendly arguments with him). Really, during all that time I spent learning about the LDS church, I think the only Mormon book (including mix of the good, the bad, and the ugly-- I read them all) I hadn't read was the Book of Mormon. Sure, I had picked it up, looked at the pictures in the front and tried to read a paragraph or two, but I found all the 'thee's and 'thou's and 'it came to pass'es a little cumbersome and difficult to muddle through. And honestly, I hardly read the Bible before I started studying theology, so why would I waste my time reading 'scripture' that clearly had been made up by this guy Joseph Smith?

I'll include my conversion story on this site at some point, but for now... the abridged version. I gave up the Catholic Church for Lent in 2010 (ironic, I know...) and planned to attend church with a different friend each Sunday leading up to Easter. I was living in a house filled with 20-somethings studying to be ministers of various Christian denominations so I thought my plan should go pretty smoothly. Now, this was kind of a big deal for me at the time, because I hardly ever missed mass. If I attended another denomination's services, I always made sure to catch a mass either before or after. After a pretty fantastic experience at the LDS Church the first Sunday, I decided to take my Lenten experiment a little further and be Mormon for Lent. At this point, you have to understand, I had grown to have "holy envy" of the Mormons. I really admired the dedication of church members to living the gospel and to contributing their time, talents, and treasure to building up what they saw as the kingdom of God. At the time, I thought that six weeks in the LDS Church might give me some insights and lessons to take back to the Catholic Church after Easter.

To fully assume my role, I decided that it was time to dust off the copy of the Book of Mormon that I had been given the year before, and give it a read. Since I was in the middle of completing my thesis, I did most of my "reading" of the Mormon by listening to it on my iPod on the way to and from school and at the gym. At first, I found it hard to follow, but as I got deeper into the story, the more snippets of truth began to pop out of me. I supplemented my study of the Book of Mormon with the Gospel Principles manual, which outlines LDS doctrine.

Two or three weeks into Lent, I was in my room on a Sunday night reading the Gospel Principles manual when in one moment it was like the clouds parted and everything I had ever learned up to that point about Jesus Christ suddenly made sense.While I had always professed being a Christian, a feeling that came over me and I knew that the things I said I believed were actually true. Christ was in fact the Son of God, he died and rose from the dead, and because of him, we will be able to return to live with our Father in heaven. It wasn't just a biblical story; it actually happened. The experience sort of shook me up.

The next day, 2 Nephi 28-- which describes present-day society-- came through my headphones on the bus. "(8) Eat, drink and be merry; nevertheless, fear God- he will justify in committing a little sin... there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the Kingdom of God." And, (14) they have all gone astray save it be a few, who are the humble followers of Christ; nevertheless, they are led, that in many instances they do err because they are taught by the precepts of men." In that moment, I thought. Oh my goodness, this might actually be true. I said a silent prayer in my seat on the bus and asked God that if the Book of Mormon came from him, to let me know. As I left the bus into the cold, blustering Chicago winter, a strong feeling came over me. I didn't want the feeling to stop, because I was afraid if it did, I would begin to doubt what I had experienced. It lasted for three days-- from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed at night.

I have heard that each person's experience of coming to know that the Gospel is true is different. I am very grateful that God know us each individually. He must have known how stubborn I would be and how difficult it was going to be for me to leave the Catholic Church. I mean, I had been a Catholic missionary, was attending a Catholic seminary, and planned to work for the church. The Catholic Church wasn't a large part of my life; being Catholic was a defining feature of my identity. While it did take me almost two years to finally get baptized, it was recalling what I felt over the course of those three days that eventually caused me to take the leap of faith. No amount of study or church attendance could have gotten me to that point.

I used to think how could people make such a HUGE decision based on warm, fuzzy feelings... For the doubters (like me) out there, I leave you with the words of a former prophet and president of the LDS Church: "When a man has the manifestation of the Holy Ghost, it leave an indelible impression on the soul, one that is not easily erased. It is the Spirit speaking to spirit, and it comes with a convincing force. A manifestation of an angel, or even the Son of God himself, would impress the eye and mind, and eventually become dimmed, but the impressions of the Holy Ghost sink deeper into the soul and are more difficult to erase" (Answers to Gospel Questions, comp. Joseph Fielding Smith Jr., 5 vols. [1957-1966], 2:151)

"It's true, isn't it?"

The name of this blog comes from the title of a talk by a former president of the LDS church Gordon B. Hinckley. A friend sent it to me in July of last year, and it was the catalyst for my baptism three months later.

A year and a half had passed since I started seriously looking into (or 'investigating' in Mormon-speak) the LDS church. Over the course of that time, I had gone from feeling like I needed to get baptized immediately, to apprehension, to confusion, to frustration, to apathy and back again. My quest for truth at times was exhausting. There were periods when I went exclusively went to LDS Church, other times to Catholic Church, and a few months when I attended both churches every Sunday.

Last summer, I had finally gotten myself to a point where I thought I might be able to find joy outside of the LDS church. I was working in Ethiopia for 10 weeks, traveling around the countryside, interviewing food aid beneficiaries, and enjoying the company of my three lovely colleagues. I could finally enjoy a coffee, tea, or alcoholic beverage without feeling guilty, which came in handy as Ethiopian coffee is amazing and one unsavory truckstop of a town was made more bearable by ending each day with a cocktail with friends. (Mormons follow a health code called the "Word of Wisdom," which prohibits coffee, tea, alcohol, smoking, and illegal drugs).

President Gordon B. Hinckely

Then, this talk landed in my inbox. I was back in Addis Ababa for meetings at the midpoint week. The words of the talk echoed through me as I sat alone in my hotel room. In the talk, President Hinckley recounts a conversation with a young man who had recently been baptized. He was about to return to his homeland where the majority of people were not Christian. When the Prophet (another title for the President of the LDS church) asked him how his family would react to the news, he replied, "My family will be disappointed. They may cast me out and regard me as dead. As for my future and my career, all opportunity may be foreclosed against me.” President Hinckley asked, “Are you willing to pay so great a price for the gospel?” The young man replied, “It’s true, isn’t it?” When the Prophet responded affirmatively, the young man answered “Then what else matters?”

I broke down in tears as I read it. Here this man was willing to risk everything for the Gospel, and I was mostly holding back because I was afraid of what people might think of me. How on earth could I tell people I was Mormon, especially after how I viewed the LDS church when I first learned of it. Would people think I had been brainwashed, duped, or was just really gullible? The Catholic Church had given me so much in my life, could I really give up my hopes of church reform and definitively turn my back on it?

But in that moment, I knew I was a goner. It was true. I knew in my heart that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was the the restored church of Jesus Christ and that he was at the head of it, leading it and guiding it. I knew that I had received a spiritual witness of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I knew that the members of the church that I knew were not perfect people, but they were committed to being perfected in Christ and I wanted to be like them. If I really believed all of that, how could anything keep me from being baptized and following all of God's commandments (including the Word of Wisdom and giving up my beloved coffee...)? 

Welcome!

Curiosity about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) has grown considerably over the last few years. With a Mormon vying for the White House and a hit musical about LDS missionaries on Broadway, more people are becoming familiar with some of the basic doctrines of the LDS church. Unfortunately, misinformation has also led to confusion about who Mormon are and what they really believe.

A few months ago, I felt inspired to start this blog. As someone who was a committed Catholic and who had little exposure to the LDS faith until my 20s, I can fully appreciate how odd some Mormon beliefs can seem at first (e.g. the gold plates, the resurrected Christ visiting the Americas, baptism for the dead). While the LDS faith fascinated and intrigued me, I had no intention of ever joining the church. Six years passed from my first encounter with missionaries while a Catholic volunteer in Chile to my baptism in October 2011 in Washington, DC.

This blog will be part personal history and part personal reflection on Mormon beliefs. My intention is to be a resource for those who were like me-- people who have come to believe that the LDS church is Christ's church but who are nervous for whatever reason to join. I also hope that this blog will help me to learn more and to continue to strengthen my own faith. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at itstrueisntitblog at gmail.com.

Thanks for visiting!

Emily